[Jazzbass]

A physicist, a biologist and a mathematician are sitting in a street café watching people entering and leaving the house on the other side of the street. First they see two people entering the house. Time passes. After a while they notice three people leaving the house. The physicist says, "The measurement wasn't accurate." The biologist says, "They must have reproduced." The mathematician says, "If one more person enters the house then it will be empty."

[joep]

ugh.

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[Trak Ratt]

Originally Posted by joep

ugh.

I liked it...

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[Vicegrip]

Which, the joke or the early 1980's face slap?

I LOLd at the joke.

[Trak Ratt]

Originally Posted by Vicegrip

Which, the joke or the early 1980's face slap?

I LOLd at the joke.

I liked the joke AND modified the '80's face slap to indicate I wasn't in agreement.

[joep]

Originally Posted by Trak Ratt

I liked the joke AND modified the '80's face slap to indicate I wasn't in agreement.

lol! I just noticed that.

[Trak Ratt]

Jake was dying. His wife sat at the bedside.
He looked up and said weakly:
‘I have something I must confess.’
‘There’s no need to, ‘his wife replied.
‘No,’ he insisted,
‘I want to die in peace.
I slept with your sister, your best friend,
her best friend, and your mother!’
‘I know,’ she replied.
‘Now just rest and let the poison work.’

[TurboPooch]

Three Dogs at the Vet......

Three dogs were sitting in the waiting room at the vet's when they struck up a conversation.
The Black Labrador turned to the yellow Labrador and said "So why are you here?

The yellow Lab replied "I'm a pisser. I piss on everything...sofa, the curtains, the cat, the kids.
But the final straw was last night was when I pissed in the middle of my owner's bed."

The black Lab said,"So what's the vet going to do?”

"Gonna cut my nuts off" came the reply from the yellow Lab.
"They reckon it"ll calm me down".


The yellow Lab then turned to the Black Lab and asked "Why are you here?"

The Black Lab said "I'm a digger, I dig under fences, dig up flowers and trees.
I dig just for the hell of it. When I'm inside, I dig up the carpets.
But I went over the line last night when I dug a great big hole in my owner's couch.”

“So what are they going to do to you?” the yellow Lab inquired.
“Looks like I'm going to lose my nuts too”, the dejected Black Lab said.


The Black Lab then turned to the Great Dane and asked, "Why are you here"?

“I'm a humper, said the Great Dane, I'll hump anything. I'll hump the cat,
a pillow, the table, fence posts, whatever. I want to hump everything I see.

“Yesterday my owner had just got out of the shower and was bending down to
dry her toes, and I just couldn't help myself. I hopped on her back and
started hammering away.”

The Black and the Yellow Labs exchanged a sad glance and said,
"So, it's nuts off for you too. huh?”

The Great Dane said, “No apparently I'm here to have my nails clipped.”

[Landjet]

I heard that dog joke some years ago and had forgotten it. It's still funny.

[Trak Ratt]

sunburn treatment A guy fell asleep on the beach for Several hours And got horrible sunburn, specifically to his upper legs. He went to the hospital, and was promptly admitted after being diagnosed with second-degree burns. With his skin already starting to blister, and the severe pain he was in,the doctor prescribed continuous intravenous feeding with saline, electrolytes, a sedative, and a Viagra pill every four hours.
The nurse, who was rather astounded, asked, ‘What good will Viagra do for him, Doctor’?
The doctor replied, “it won’t do anything for his condition, but it’ll keep the sheets off his legs.”