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#501
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ALERTS TO THREATS IN 2012 EUROPE
The English are feeling the pinch in relation to recent events in Libya, Egypt and Syria and have therefore raised their security level from "Miffed" to "Peeved." Soon, though, security levels may be raised yet again to "Irritated" or even "A Bit Cross." The English have not been "A Bit Cross" since the blitz in 1940 when tea supplies nearly ran out. Terrorists have been re-categorized from "Tiresome" to "A Bloody Nuisance." The last time the British issued a "Bloody Nuisance" warning level was in 1588, when threatened by the Spanish Armada. The Scots have raised their threat level from "Pissed Off" to "Let's get the Bastards." They don't have any other levels. This is the reason they have been used on the front line of the British army for the last 300 years. The French government announced yesterday that it has raised its terror alert level from "Run" to "Hide." The only two higher levels in France are "Collaborate" and "Surrender." The rise was precipitated by a recent fire that destroyed France's white flag factory, effectively paralyzing the country's military capability. Italy has increased the alert level from "Shout Loudly and Excitedly" to "Elaborate Military Posturing." Two more levels remain: "Ineffective Combat Operations" and "Change Sides." The Germans have increased their alert state from "Disdainful Arrogance" to "Dress in Uniforms and Sing Marching Songs." They also have two higher levels: "Invade a Neighbour" and "Lose." Belgians, on the other hand, are all on holiday as usual; the only threat they are worried about is NATO pulling out of Brussels . Australia ,meanwhile, has raised its security level from "No worries" to "She'll be alright, Mate." Two more escalation levels remain: "Crikey! I think we'll need to cancel the barbie this weekend!" and "The barbie is cancelled." So far no situation has ever warranted use of the final escalation level. -- John Cleese - British writer, actor and tall person.
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- Tony P. Currently - 1984 944 SP2 racer - 1977 911 KM Special vintage racer - 2012 Cayman R (also the wife's) - 2000 Boxster S (now mine) - 1995 993 (garage queen) - 2007 Cayman S (wife's track beast) - 2017 F350 (tow monster) - 2018 Jeep Wrangler Gone but not forgotten - 1989 944S2 - 1979 RX7 - 1986 944 - 1991 944S2 (in car heaven...) - 2001 Chevy Suburban 2500 (FIL's beast now) |
#502
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Quote:
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Tony K PCA Potomac, Rennlist Member 89 944 Turbo 85 Carrera - Sold TrackVision 944Cup |
#503
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Haggis will do that to a guy.
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#504
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It's the pipes, everyone flees before the pipes!!
Dirk
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Safety Chair, PCA Potomac Region Retired DE Chair, PCA Potomac Region. Retired Co-Chief Instructor PCA Potomac 2008-2012 1971 914/6 (Factory) 3.2 Track car 1988 911 Targa 1986 944 |
#505
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Sorry to hear that Dirk. I have the opposite experience.
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Bob 04 GT3 86 Carrera 97 318ti "Guys, I'm coming in, I have too much grip." |
#506
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Warning, do not be drinking anything!!!!
Mrs Brown and the Condom
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Safety Chair, PCA Potomac Region Retired DE Chair, PCA Potomac Region. Retired Co-Chief Instructor PCA Potomac 2008-2012 1971 914/6 (Factory) 3.2 Track car 1988 911 Targa 1986 944 |
#507
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A while back, I picked up a lovely date at her parents' home.
I'd scraped together some money to take her to a fancy restaurant. She ordered the most expensive items on the menu. Shrimp cocktail. Lobster Patrone. Champagne. I asked her, "Does your mother feed you like that when you eat at home?" "No," she replied, "but my mother's not expecting to have sex with me tonight." I said, "Would you care for dessert?" |
#508
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My boss phoned me today, he said, "Is everything okay at the office?" I said, "Yes, it's all under control. It's been a very busy day, I haven't stopped."
"Can you do me a favor?" he asked. I said, "Of course, what is it?" "Speed it up a little, I'm in the foursome behind you."
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Scott Bresnahan Purcellville Va. http://agent.allstate.com/SBresnahan/Welcome 2014 GTB1 World Champion 8 Time National DE champion 88 911 Cup 13 Boxster S 1969 Saab Sonett 2005 Cayenne 2013 Cayenne 2014 F150 Hurricane race trailer with A/C 05 Cup car 02 Koni 996 |
#509
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Harry and his wife were driving in the country when he
saw a sign that said, "Cow For Sale: $5000" He pulled in and said to the farmer, "There's no cow in the world worth five thousand dollars." The farmer said, "Oh, yeah? Take a look at this!" He lifted the cow's tail, and Harry saw that the cow had a snatch just like a woman. Harry got back in the car, turned to his wife, and began to cry, "It's just not fair. Here's this farmer with a cow that has a snatch like a woman and it's worth $5000. And here I am, with you, with a snatch like a cow, and you ain't worth shit!"
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Bob 04 GT3 86 Carrera 97 318ti "Guys, I'm coming in, I have too much grip." |
#510
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How to Piss Off a Frog
https://mail.google.com/mail/h/jf5qf...attd&safe=1&zw
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Kurt Reston Ph. 703 629 5878 1980 911 sc '75 914 project 5000 lbs too much of 914 spares 2 1959 Lancia Flaminia's 1968 Ultravan |
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