[creseida]

Well the POrSche is making me again.

The car has sat for about 2 months because the weather has been utter crap.

When I turn the key on, all the idiot lights come on as normal, but none of the LCD displays light up.

And when I start the car, all the gauges stay dead.

The gas gauge doesn't budge from empty, but the orange "Low Fuel" light does come on.

The temp gauge doesn't register, but the red "low coolant" light flashes and then stays on full time.

The tach doesn't work.
The digital speedometer doesn't work
The odometer doesn't work
The analog speedometer doesn't work
None of the LCD displays work.

The spoiler light stays on even after moving the car; the spoiler switch doesn't work.
The brake fluid indicator light stays on even though the brake fluid is fine.
The brake pad wear indicator light stays on even though the brakes are relatively new
The airbag light is on (but it was on all the time before this)

Ideas on how to fix this?

[HoodPin]

Where has the car been parked? If outdoors, possibly clogged roof drains, resulting in water under the driver's seat, where the computer sits. If not water, might be mice chewing through some wiring.

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[matt de maria]

Try a battery reset.

[creseida]

Originally Posted by matt de maria

Try a battery reset.

What is a battery reset?

The battery was disconnected while it wasn't driven.

[creseida]

Originally Posted by HoodPin

Where has the car been parked? If outdoors, possibly clogged roof drains, resulting in water under the driver's seat, where the computer sits. If not water, might be mice chewing through some wiring.

Sent from my SM-G930V using Tapatalk

It is outside with a car cover.

[Baywatch]

Do the wipers work?
Do the headlights come on?

One of the most common electrical items to fail on some of the older Porsches is the ignition switch. This failure can show up in any number of ways. The car can refuse to start some of the time, the key may not turn too easily in the ignition, or strange electrical problems may appear. Either way, the correct solution is to replace all or part of the ignition switch.

[Trak Ratt]

Lots of information on "battery reset" in interwebs. Should also be in your owners manual

[creseida]

Originally Posted by Baywatch

Do the wipers work?
Do the headlights come on?

One of the most common electrical items to fail on some of the older Porsches is the ignition switch. This failure can show up in any number of ways. The car can refuse to start some of the time, the key may not turn too easily in the ignition, or strange electrical problems may appear. Either way, the correct solution is to replace all or part of the ignition switch.

Headlights work, driving and parking lights work, wipers work, washers work, hazards and turn signals work and the appropriate indicators for the lights work. (I didn't check high beam indicator though) and all idiot lights work.

It's just the gauges themselves and the LCD displays that don't work.

I've already replaced the PITA ignition switch twice so far (prior to this event).

[creseida]

Originally Posted by creseida

What is a battery reset?

The battery was disconnected while it wasn't driven.

Reading up on it, there is no mention of the dash gauges being affected. Just windows, radio and egas.

[cmartin]

Maybe so, but its pretty simple and a low battery can create all sorts of odd issues. Confirming battery charge state and connections is the standard first step for any electrical issue.