So here are the two circuits you're dealing with. First, the standard DME/DME relay power circuit. This shows the no-alarm-option connection where pin 86 of the DME relay is connected directly to bus 15 in the fuse box.
And this is the factory alarm circuit:
I didn't quite follow your results below - it looks like you posted a table of some sort but the board software removed the spacing from it. Hopefully the circuit above can be of some help. Were it me, first thing I'd do is disconnect the alarm unit from the connector and test that there is +12V on pin 15 when the ignition is turned on (in both "run" and "start"). If there is, use an alligator clip (or similar like this:
http://www.amazon.com/SE-TL10-Clip-T..._bxgy_hi_img_y) to jumper from pin 15 to to pin 87a. If there is nothing else wrong with the DME relay or the DME circuit, this should get your car running. If there is NOT +12V on pin 15, jumper directly from the fuse box to pin 87a.