You guys are dead sick. But now that the question is on the table, who has the fastest Dorki lawn tractor? I'm thinking stock class - no mods from the aircleaner to the exhaust manifold - suspension and wheels are free, weigh including driver catalog weight + 200#.
Now, all we need is a golf course to race on
Disclosure: I do NOT own a lawn tractor [for which I am eternally grateful].